Takash on Kusners

The Star | Business | Motivation Matters

Networking requires selflessness

By JOE TAKASH | First Look Columnist | Sunday, March 25, 2001

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you."

— Dale Carnegie

They often wear smirks about their brows like professional poker players knowing every card that you’re holding.

People who are successful at networking with others are those who know that to give, they must get. They don't do what most people do when communicating with others.

When most folks attend a chamber of commerce, trade show or networking function of any kind, their mode of transportation to the event is the "Me Train." 

You can often hear it whistling "Meeeeeee" as they enter the room.

To be effective in your business connections, there is one word that everyone must devour and that word is reciprocity. 

If I want something FROM you, I better be able to do something for you.

Reciprocity shows a willingness to be selfless, a longing to help other people in the same way that we want to be helped.

Some people have a propensity for reaching out to others before thinking of themselves.

Now I've plugged my mom and dad so much in my columns, one might think I'd get grounded if I don't mention their names once every three weeks, so I'll leave them out of this one.

I will, however, plug two of their very best friends, Bob and Terry Kusner. They have a big, wonderful family and their philosophy of life serves as an excellent business model for anybody:

So, here then, is the Kusner Philosophy (tm) that all of us can turn into personal and professional
success:

Celebrate other people.

Kusners love people. They can talk about you until your head swells to the size of a 30-pound bowling ball. They ask about your interests and they listen with enthusiasm and sincerity. Do you?

Develop commonalities.

As a result of their selflessness, the Kusners connect with people by reaching common ground.
Having things in common with others creates a comfort level that establishes trust and enhances the desire to do business with them.

Always have a sense of humor.

The day that any Kusner takes him or herself too seriously, there are several other Kusners that will laugh them back down to size.

A sense of humor is critical for all relationships. Having a self-deprecating sense of
humor is one of the most charming and disarming tools in making positive human connections. This is a Kusner Service Standard (tm).

Live with passion.

Attending Kusner family functions as a child renders memories of what life should be about: a great time. Too many people get stuck dwelling on the past or longing for what never comes about.

The Kusners live in the only time any of us are able to live, the present. This awareness reflects a passion that people like to be around, in any setting.

I seriously encourage you to try to incorporate a little more of the Kusner Philosophy (tm) into what you do, how you deal with people and how you view yourself. The people I know who have made these principles part of their own approach, have been extremely successful.

(It should be noted that royalties of gratitude and appreciation will be paid for a lifetime to Bob and Terry for providing the Kusner Philosophy).