Formerly blacklisted, Sandra Bernhard returns to Big D
Our provocateur on: being Natalie Maines’ neighbor, the chaos known as ‘The View,’ and how she her talkshow teammate Jack E. Jett hope to seize the world
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| DIXIE CHICKED: It’s been almost six years since Sandra Bernhard performed in Dallas. |
By DANIEL KUSNER | March 9, 2007
Calling from her apartment in New York last week, Sandra Bernhard sounds almost chipper.
“I am,” she says. “So much to be chipper about. Just hanging out — waiting for my kid to get home from school.”
So if she’s in the Big Apple, that means that Dixie Chicks front woman, Natalie Maines, lives next door.
“When she’s here. Natalie is in Los Angeles most of the time now, because her husband [actor Adrian Pasdar] is on that show ‘Heroes,’” Bernhard explains.
Her mellow tone slightly shifts when comparisons are drawn between Maines and the last time Bernhard was scheduled to play Dallas: in 2002, during her post-9/11 “Hero Worship” tour.
Bernhard’s Gypsy Tea Room gig was abruptly yanked — along with a performance scheduled in San Antonio.
When the cancellations were announced, the lesbian performer says she was as surprised as ticket holders.
Bernhard says promoters in Bush’s “announced” home state got cold feet — that they were scared of providing a platform for her shoot-from-the-hip critiques on Orange Alerts and the countless fundraisers for victims of the World Trade Center bombings.
At that time, Maines, of course, was country music’s sacrificial lamb — the Texas sweetheart who spoke out against Bush’s escalation of U.S. troops in Iraq.
As the Bernhard and Maines children played together, the next-door-neighbors spent long hours discussing the culture of “Bush paranoia.”
“It has been the weirdest six years — especially if you’re trying to perform in a city like Dallas or you’re down in Texas. Like there’s been a kind of self-imposed censorship. But I feel a sea-change coming on — especially since the November elections,” Bernhard says.
Less than a year ago, she was still feeling the sting for making anti-Bush criticisms.
In June, while promoting her show “Everything Bad & Beautiful,” which stops at the Majestic Theatre on Friday, Bernhard appeared on “The View.” Remember, this was daytime talk show’s old guard, but Meredith Viera had already jumped ship.
Barbara Walters brought up Laura Bush.
And Bernhard described the first lady’s apathetic-seeming demeanor as being “heavily medicated.”
And that’s when co-panelist Elisabeth Hasselbeck flew into a neo-conservative tizzy.
The clip should be immortalized on YouTube.
“I walked into the perfect storm. Star Jones knew she was getting fired, so she had her bone to pick. Elisabeth Hasselbeck was ramping up to become the right-wing spokesperson on the show: She thought it was the perfect opportunity for her to flex her political muscle. And without Meredith Viera — who was the only voice of reason — it was, like, these chicks have gone fucking postal. But you know, it was perfect. I just laid back and watched the whole thing unfold without getting too involved.”
Bernhard did try to defend herself — by mentioning that Laura Bush says nothing when her husband slashes education budgets.
But no one could hear the guest because Hasselbeck and Jones talked over Bernhard.
“Well, that’s the problem. These chicks don’t shut up. They’re the worst possible example of why women shouldn’t be in power positions — because nobody listens. They’re like these harpy bitches, which has become second-nature to that show.”
As for the new-and-improved version of “The View,” Bernhard is reluctant to sing Rosie O’Donnell’s praises.
“You must remember, for 10 years Rosie was in total denial — pretended to be something else. My hat is off to her in a certain way. But for somebody like me, who has walked the sexual line and been very forthright and hasn’t had anything handed to her, I’m not impressed,” Bernhard says.
Calling from her apartment in New York last week, Sandra Bernhard sounds almost chipper.
“I am,” she says. “So much to be chipper about. Just hanging out — waiting for my kid to get home from school.”
So if she’s in the Big Apple, that means that Dixie Chicks front woman, Natalie Maines, lives next door.
“When she’s here. Natalie is in Los Angeles most of the time now, because her husband [actor Adrian Pasdar] is on that show ‘Heroes,’” Bernhard explains.
Her mellow tone slightly shifts when comparisons are drawn between Maines and the last time Bernhard was scheduled to play Dallas: in 2002, during her post-9/11 “Hero Worship” tour.
Bernhard’s Gypsy Tea Room gig was abruptly yanked — along with a performance scheduled in San Antonio.
When the cancellations were announced, the lesbian performer says she was as surprised as ticket holders.
Bernhard says promoters in Bush’s “announced” home state got cold feet — that they were scared of providing a platform for her shoot-from-the-hip critiques on Orange Alerts and the countless fundraisers for victims of the World Trade Center bombings.
At that time, Maines, of course, was country music’s sacrificial lamb — the Texas sweetheart who spoke out against Bush’s escalation of U.S. troops in Iraq.
As the Bernhard and Maines children played together, the next-door-neighbors spent long hours discussing the culture of “Bush paranoia.”
“It has been the weirdest six years — especially if you’re trying to perform in a city like Dallas or you’re down in Texas. Like there’s been a kind of self-imposed censorship. But I feel a sea-change coming on — especially since the November elections,” Bernhard says.
Less than a year ago, she was still feeling the sting for making anti-Bush criticisms.
In June, while promoting her show “Everything Bad & Beautiful,” which stops at the Majestic Theatre on Friday, Bernhard appeared on “The View.” Remember, this was daytime talk show’s old guard, but Meredith Viera had already jumped ship.
Barbara Walters brought up Laura Bush.
And Bernhard described the first lady’s apathetic-seeming demeanor as being “heavily medicated.”
And that’s when co-panelist Elisabeth Hasselbeck flew into a neo-conservative tizzy.
The clip should be immortalized on YouTube.
“I walked into the perfect storm. Star Jones knew she was getting fired, so she had her bone to pick. Elisabeth Hasselbeck was ramping up to become the right-wing spokesperson on the show: She thought it was the perfect opportunity for her to flex her political muscle. And without Meredith Viera — who was the only voice of reason — it was, like, these chicks have gone fucking postal. But you know, it was perfect. I just laid back and watched the whole thing unfold without getting too involved.”
Bernhard did try to defend herself — by mentioning that Laura Bush says nothing when her husband slashes education budgets.
But no one could hear the guest because Hasselbeck and Jones talked over Bernhard.
“Well, that’s the problem. These chicks don’t shut up. They’re the worst possible example of why women shouldn’t be in power positions — because nobody listens. They’re like these harpy bitches, which has become second-nature to that show.”
As for the new-and-improved version of “The View,” Bernhard is reluctant to sing Rosie O’Donnell’s praises.
“You must remember, for 10 years Rosie was in total denial — pretended to be something else. My hat is off to her in a certain way. But for somebody like me, who has walked the sexual line and been very forthright and hasn’t had anything handed to her, I’m not impressed,” Bernhard says.
“I’ve always paid the price for being outspoken and completely being in everybody’s face: whether it was the gay community trying to make me their spokesperson; or the straight community saying I was too sexually ambiguous,” Bernhard continues. “In this day and age, it’s pretty easy to be outspoken — with all the blogging and shit. I like Rosie, but I don’t think she’s a revelation.”
Perhaps Bernhard will give Rosie a run for her money.
Bernhard’s Dallas visit will reunite her with Jack E. Jett, a gay bomb-thrower in his own right.
When production for Jett’s now-defunct talk show “The Queer Edge” moved from Haltom City to Burbank, Calif., Jett and Bernhard joined forces.
It was a potent and weird cocktail that worked — although no one in North Texas got to see the show, which aired on the QTV network.
“We’re pitching the resurgence of our talk show. But it won’t be called ‘The Queer Edge’ because we’re going to open it up to everybody. We’ve been spending some time together, finding producers who will take our project and get it set up. Places like Bravo,” she explains.
It’s been almost six years since Sandra Bernhard performed in Dallas.
I ask her if she’ll be doing anything special for the gig — in case North Texans should slap themselves silly if they miss it. And in true Bernhard style, she ends our interview with a threat.
“Oh, honey. Every time I walk onstage, it’s special. You all had better come out. The world has become so ‘American Idol,’ so cookie-cutter. Everybody is laying up on their asses at home — not supporting the great artists,” she says. “So you better get all the queens, the drag queens and dykes. If I do not see the place sold out, I will be readying everybody to filth.”
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| BEAUTIFUL & BADASS: Bernhard performs “Everything Bad and Beautiful” at the Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St. March 9 at 8 p.m. $27-$102. |
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