On March 14, 1992, Shaun Sperling read from the Torah and became bar mitzvahed in northwest suburban Chicago.
Shaun chose Madge's "Vogue" to celebrate his Jewish manhood.
This fierce little dude could snatch trophies at a ball.
However, his category would be: Serving "Nurse Jackie" Zoey Barkow Realness.
Pose, turn, wurk.
The Holy Grail of live-comedy albums is "Without You I'm Nothing" (1987), Sandra Bernhard's Off-Broadway taping at the Orpheum Theater.
In the monologue that precedes her rendition of "Time of the Season," she mentions the NYC critics who've blasted the show — including Laurie Stone, who described Bernhard as "petty and bilious" in her Village Voice review.
Bernhard responded by humiliating Stone in the show for six months. When Stone got word of the attack, she called and left a cloying, back-pedaling message on Bernhard's answering machine. Bernhard responded by playing the message onstage every night (and on Letterman). Stone eventually called a lawyer.
The live album is interrupted by Bernhard's voice-over explaining she couldn't include Stone's call on the recording.
I never knew the Letterman appearance was an earlier segment from the same night Bernhard dragged Madonna onto Dave's set.
Here's the clip, above, that includes Stone's answering-machine message. This clip's also the closest thing I've seen to any footage of Bernhard's Off-Broadway smash (which is drastically different than the feature-film version of "Without You.")
UPDATE: Tight-rope kween is Andy Lewis — a "slackline surfing" champion. He also goes by the name "Sketchy Andy." (Thanks for the tip, InadvertentRiot.)
JFK Jr. asked Madonna to pose as his mother — She was almost the First Lady Madonna.
John F. Kennedy Jr. asked the Material Girl to dress up as his mother for the cover of his magazine, George, but Madonna declined, insisting she would “never do [Jackie O] justice,” according to a new book.
“We’ll have her in a pillbox hat, sitting on a stack of books,” JFK Jr. told his assistant, RoseMarie Terenzio, author of the memoir, “Fairy Tale Interrupted,” which chronicles her five years as John John’s confidante and publicist until his untimely death in 1999 at the age of 38.
In the summer of 1996, JFK Jr. asked Terenzio who should grace the cover of his September “Women in Politics” issue.
Terenzio suggested then-First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, but JFK Jr., who co-founded the magazine in 1995, had a different idea.
“I think we should dress Madonna up as my mother,” Kennedy said. “Wouldn’t that be a riot?”
Terenzio thought he was joking; Madonna was then at the height of her bad-girl image.
She warned him it would create a media “s--tstorm.”
And although Terenzio insists it wasn’t among her concerns, the cover would have undoubtedly raised eyebrows given JFK Jr.’s once-rumored romance with Madge, who was often compared to his father’s reputed paramour, Marilyn Monroe.
“If it doesn’t bother me, why should it bother anyone else?” Kennedy said.
NO THANKS: Madonna's letter turning down JFK Jr.
So they drafted a letter to the “Like a Virgin” singer, asking her to pose as Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.
The next day, Madonna faxed her handwritten response, flirtatiously addressed to “Johnny Boy.”
“My eyebrows aren’t thick enough, for one,” she offered.
“When you want me to portray Eva Braun or Pamela Harriman, I might say yes!” she wrote, referring, bizarrely, to Hitler’s mistress and the British socialite who married New York Gov. W. Averell Harriman and Winston Churchill’s son Randolph.
JFK Jr. eventually tapped actress Drew Barrymore for the cover, portraying, ironically, Monroe in her legendary white halter dress singing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.”
Terenzio, whose book is due out on Jan. 24, says there was nothing untoward at the time of the fax between the Material Girl and the heir to Camelot.
In fact, later that month, JFK Jr. married his longtime girlfriend, Carolyn Bessette.
SUMMER ’95: Quentin and Yours Truly on our way to see ‘Kids.’ [Photo: Kirsten Showell.]
Monday, December 9, 1996
Phoned Quentin Crisp to invite him to a movie.
Woody Allen’s “Everyone Says I Love You” was playing at the Olympia Theatre on Broadway at 44th Street for a one-week award-seasonrun (earning a Golden Globe nom forBest Motion Picture Musical or Comedy).
Quentin answered the phone while moaning in pain, “Owwww, owww! Buggers! Owww….”
He injured his hand while trying to break a fall.
Quentin whimpered as he reached for his planner, which he calls, “the sacred book.”
He selected Wednesday and talked about bus routes. I said I’d splurge for a cab.
On Christmas Day, I went to some people’s apartment on Fourth Street, because it was nice and near. But on the day before, I had a party in Chez Suzette, which is a rather posh restaurant on Restaurant Row on 46th Street. It was very nice.
Who went to your party?
Almost everyone.
Any big celebrities?
No. Mr. Bay— who arranged it — asked all sorts of celebrities. But they didn’t come, of course.
How’s your hand?
It’s no better. But it’s all right when I don’t use it.
Are you in any pain?
Not when I don’t use it. Just lying about ... it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Sill gonna cut it off?
Well, I might have to because it’s so useless.
Have you seen a doctor?
No.
Not going to step foot into a hospital, are you?
Eek! Never.
•••
Can I ask you a bunch of questions?
Yes.
Can you define “family values?”
Family values are a complete waste of time. Everything that goes wrong in one’s life is the result of their family.
How was your relationship with your father?
Terrible.
Did he name you Quentin?
No. That was my own name. My birth name was Denis.
Do you know who you were named after?
I don’t think I was named after anybody.
Your real name is Denis?
Yes.
Denis Crisp?
No, Denis Pratt. You can imagine how quick I was to get rid of that.
What was the inspiration of the invented name Quentin Crisp?
Oh, Quentin, it’s good. It’s set in Versailles during Louis XVI. It demonstrates how success is measured through wit. The clever dialogue is snappy. It’s about eviscerating and mocking others in public.
Hmmmmph.
Have you seen “Shine?”
No.
Have you heard about it?
Yes.
Have you heard about “Breaking the Waves?”
I’ve seen “Breaking the Waves.”
What’d you think?
It’s quite nice but very kinky.
Do you ever rent movies?
Never.
What’s your opinion of the new “Romeo + Juliet” movie?
I haven’t seen it. But I think it’s a great mistake.
How come?
Well, when you put teenagers into Shakespeare — the fact that they’re wearing torn jeans and saying all that elaborate poetry is just crazy.
You don’t find teenagers very poetic, do you?
No. I find them wretched.
We talked about the movie “I Shot Andy Warhol.” I asked you about meeting Warhol. You said whenever you saw Warhol out, you’d try to engage him into conversations. But you couldn’t get much out of him, right?
Yes. Homosexuality is strange. It’s unusual. It’s not normal. I think it’s natural that people are afraid of it and don’t like it.
Do you think you’ll be considered a significant historical figure?
No.
Maybe a historically significant gay figure?
I don’t think so.
What about in the legal sense? When you successfully defended yourself in court?
Not really.
I live in Texas. And the only copies of “The Naked Civil Servant” that are owned by the University of Texas at Austin are placed in the school’s very posh law library. Your case has merit — especially in consideration of civil rights. Weren’t you arrested and harassed by the police for being eccentric because they didn’t like that you refused to present yourself as a man?
I was accused of soliciting. And I said that I didn’t do it.
